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Posts Tagged ‘urination’

Wall of Shame

I recently read another blog about the “man-code.”  To wit, I quote:

The Man-code has been hard-wired genetically into the DNA of the entire male species; of which membership is determined by whether or not the individual in question is unable to pee into a semicircular opening without randomly distributing bodily fluids all over the toilet seat. I suspect a teenage boy who can hit a three-point jumper with deadly accuracy from ranges greater than 30 foot, would suddenly be unable to hit the same shot if the basketball rim suddenly resembled a toilet seat. Think about it. All the shots would bounce of the rim or fall short of the intended target.

As a man, I have always been fascinated by this whole toilet seat issue.  YOU CANNOT LEAVE IT UP.  I’m not yelling at you in all caps; I am merely trying to save you some pain down the road.  Just.  Don’t.  Do.  It.

And why?  Because apparently, the next female to use that toilet will splash down unexpectedly.  They will then hunt you down like Bobba Fett on a Han Solo.

You see, apparently women never look before they sit down.  They just back into the bathroom.  BEEP.  BEEP.  BEEP.  Splash.

And it is the man’s fault.

But if you go without putting the seat up, then you will likewise be relieved of your manhood should someone of the non-male persuasion come along and sit on a wet seat.  I don’t know about you, but all these rules makes something that should just come naturally become so confusing.

But actually this subject reminded me that I had a couple of bathroom photos I have not blogged yet.  These were taken from a men’s room (since, quite frankly, it is not physically possible for a woman to do this AND I am not in the habit of entering women’s restrooms.)  Now I want to be clear on one thing here.  I am not ordinarily in the habit of taking a camera (in this case, an Ipad) into any public restroom.  People will look at you funny.  Sometimes you get arrested.  Just trust me on this one.  For the record, this particular toilet is in a single restroom (one toilet, no urinal, please lock the door.)  It is a restroom I use frequently (not in my home or office but I’m there on a weekly basis and I have to stare at this wall as I give back the coffee I drank earlier, so to speak.)  So I took the Ipad with me for the specific purpose of documenting the drippage on the wall behind the toilet.

I’m not sure which is more disturbing:  the fact that someone missed so badly or that their urine is fluorescent?  (It doesn’t glow in the dark, and yes I turned out the lights to make sure.)

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