I don’t even have time to finish the title!
Have you seen the billboards? Apparently, Judgment Day is coming and the end of times is near. May 21st. to be exact. Give or take a guess or two. That’s not much time to get my act together is it? I was not aware of this! (I thought the Mayans at least gave us till the end of 2012, which is kind of nice since we won’t have to worry about those Christmas credit card bills in January 2013.)

Altoona Mirror photo by Patrick Waksmunski
Harold Camping has deciphered the Bible and predicts that the End of Times will begin on May 21, 2011. Even though the Bible specifically states in Matthew 24:36, “No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in Heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.”
OMG. Harold Camping is GOD! So that would now be OMC! (Oh my Camping!)
I know! It’s not as freaky as George Burns or Morgan Freeman, but creepy in its own way.
Unfortunately for Camping, he has been wrong before, which is decidedly un-God like. Apparently he predicted the end of times on September 6, 1994. Oops.
In response to the obvious fact that the world did not end, he responded, “I overlooked something. I missed something.”
Ya think?!
The Billboard states that the Bible “guarantees it.” I’d like to see the details of that guarantee. IF the world does not end on May 21st, what recourse do I have? I can’t get my money back since I didn’t pay anything for this information. Will I be guaranteed of the next sure end of times when it becomes available? What exactly does this guarantee mean???
Basically, there are several possibilities regarding Mr. Camping.
1. He is right. Sinners and non-beleievers, you are screwed. You probably are anyway when that day and hour eventually come, but now you will be screwed sooner than you thought–or didn’t think since you don’t believe. This gets so confusing!
2. He is wrong because . . .
a. He is an idiot.
b. He has a psychological disorder. Maybe a brain tumor. Probably not a blood dyscrasia. He probably chews his nails and has hang nails.
c. He is looking for some publicity. I don’t know, if I only have fifteen minutes of fame, I’d rather not be famous for being a complete idiot. But that’s just me. Maybe he’s okay with that. And if he is right, he won’t get his fame because time is going to end anyway.
d He has overlooked or missed something. Maybe he missed the bus. Maybe he is still using a slide rule instead of a computer. He could just be really bad at math.
Or maybe we’re just not supposed to know this information, like the Bible says, after all.
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