I got a notice in the mail from my electric company.
Apparently, my family uses “too much” electricity, at least compared to my neighbors. I’m not sure why this concerns the electric company, since I do pay them for it.
Seriously, can you imagine McDonald’s accusing you of eating too many burgers? Papa John’s declining to bring you a pizza because you order more than your neighbors. Barnes & Noble refusing to sell you a book because you bought too many?
And just who are these energy efficient neighbors? I mean, I don’t consider myself to be a waster of electricity, although my computer is on right now. My house doesn’t look like a runway at night, visible from 12,000 feet. Do these people live in caves? Do they never recharge their phones? No TV? Granted, we have a pool, which probably accounts for the peak in the summer months, but across the board, we use 71% MORE ELECTRICITY than our neighbors.
I’m shocked. Maybe I shouldn’t have done that wiring job by myself!
So I clicked on the Who are my neighbors? link on the web page shown above. I expected to see mug shots of these “green” people with their solar panels and candles. Instead, I got this informative report:
I really don’t think there are 100 homes within 0.8 miles of my house. And how do they know how many occupants reside in these bastions of energy efficiency? Does the NSA provide them with data?
And then I noticed where they offer a “full list of energy saving products and services for purchase.”
Now I’m not so shocked. McDonald’s doesn’t want me to stop eating burgers, they want to sell me a diet plan!
Yeah, I’m not sold on that either.
Maybe I’ll just run an extension cord from my neighbor’s house over to mine.
That should do the trick!