A Boring Contribution Does Everything Fine

The Daily Prompt asks bloggers to “Create a short story, piece of memoir, or epic poem that is 26 sentences long, in which the first sentence begins with “A” and each sentence thereafter begins with the next letter of the alphabet.”

These people hate me.  Where do they come up with this?  Is this like that quick brown zebra chasing a fox that has every letter of the alphabet in it?  Does 26 sentences an epic poem make?

Have you ever played the game Apples to Apples?

In this game, you are dealt a hand of red cards, each with a person, place, thing or phrase (basically a noun of some sort).  Players take turns being the “judge.”  A card is then drawn from a second set of green cards with descriptive words (Adjectives perhaps?)   Players must pick a card from their hand that somehow matches the green card (for example, a synonym or antonym but probably not a homonym or a church hymn.)  For instance, the green card might say SMART.  If you have ALBERT EINSTEIN in your hand, the judge will probably pick your card.

My hand sucks.  Is Detroit radiant this time of year?

I never have EINSTEIN when SMART comes up.  I never have BILL GATES when RICH comes up.  If you don’t have anything that matches. you end up throwing in a random card which you know won’t get picked, but at least the worthless piece of crap (SOY SAUCE) is out of your hand and you have the opportunity to draw another card next turn that might actually match one of the 7,000 other green cards.  (Is it politically correct to call them green cards?)

Short story, memoir or epic poem?

Three green cards and I don’t have anything in my blog hand.

So here we go . . .

A man walks into a

Bar. (He hits his head.)  This gives him a

Concussion.  (See, the bar wasn’t a tavern but an actual bar . . . . get it?)

Doh!

Eventually he comes to and yells “what the

F&$%!  Who put a bar there?!

Geez!

How unsafe

Is that?

Just put a bar up there with no warning?

Kinda stupid, don’t you think?

Like it’s my fault I walked into that bar.

Man!

Nobody gives a crap anymore about

Other

People.

Quite the sign of the times.

Really!

Some people deserve to be sued.

That’s what I should do!

Unleash my lawyer on the world!

Very good idea!

Wait.  What?

Xcept I don’t have a lawyer, do I?  (see what I did there, wink, wink!)

Yikes!  Lawyers cost a lot of money!

Zero chance of me getting anything from that bar.  I’m underage anyway and shouldn’t have been walking into that bar.”