Tough Love: A Typing Lesson

My son is a drummer in the marching band and wants to be a lieutenant next year.  Apparently, there is an application and interview process to select these section leaders.  After scribbling down writing up his responses for the application, he asked demanded that I type them up for him, because he has other homework to do, and I type so much better.  Boo hoo hoo.  Truth be told, I hunt and peck, but I do peck rather quickly.

This is what he wanted me to type for him . . .

Junior High Lieutenant Application

Questions:

1.   What qualifications do you bring to the lieutenant program/ a leadership role?

I have pretty good musical skills and can help other students.  I also have the motivation to have a final product that is very good sounding and well-executed.  I have participated in Kan It and Krew, as well as helping with percussion clinics for future band students.

2.  Why would you like to hold a leadership position?

Because I want to make sure that the drum line will be in shape to give our best performance possible.

3.  What are your goals for the 2012-13 Marching Band?

My goals are to improve not only my own skills, but help develop other’s skills and help the show run smoothly.

4.  What do the following terms mean to you?

a.  Commitment – to be dedicated to something and to put effort into it

b.  Leader –  a role model for others who can give advice to others

c.  Criticism – a way to help others improve without being harsh, but being helpful

d.  Pride – pride is a sense of honor and confidence in what you do

e.  Cooperation – to work with others well and help a group work like a well-oiled machine.

Who does he think I am?  His personal secretary?  A lesson in life was needed here.

The Shining example of a dad who shouldn’t type his kid’s papers.

So this is what I actually typed . . .

Junyer Hi Lootenint Applakation

Questions:

1.   What qualifications do you bring to the lieutenant program/ a leadership role?

I’m pretty much a twerp.  I’m not qualified to flip burgers and I can’t march and chew gum at the same time.  I can bang things with sticks though.  That leadership roll thing is making me hungry.

2.  Why would you like to hold a leadership position?

So that I can squash it in my open palm.  Or drop it.  Whatever.  I plan to take over the world.

3.  What are your goals for the 2012-13 Marching Band?

I didn’t know we could score goals!  My goal is to survive.  I hope not to pick my nose till it bleeds profusely.  That will be tough, but what good are goals if you don’t get high.  I mean, set them high.

4.  What do the following terms mean to you?

a.  Commitment – putting someone away in a mental institution

b.  Leader –  a unit of volume in the metric system

c.  Criticism – the opportunity to make someone else feel really bad about themselves

d.  Pride – a group of lions

e.  Cooperation – a corporation that makes chicken coops

I doubt he asks me to type anything else for him in the future!