Believe it or not, this is not a rant against broccoli, although amongst vegetables, broccoli probably deserves to be made fun of, along with cauliflower, brussels sprouts and lima beans.
I am also not critiquing Albert R. Broccoli’s movie-making skills.
No instead, I am talking about little nuggets of delectable, near-orgasmic culinary masterpieces called Broccoli Bites. Think Bagel Bites gone green.
Don’t be freaked out if you have never heard of them. I suspect you won’t find them in your local grocery store in the frozen food section, or any other section for that matter.
Before today, I had never heard of these little gems.
But when my staff at the surgical center discovered that the hospital cafeteria was serving Broccoli Bites, they went ballistic. I have not seen such celebration since the USA defeated Russia in hockey in 1980. A rather run-of-the-mill Wednesday in the OR suddenly became a “broccoli bites day!” And in case you are wondering, that’s the next best thing to Christmas, or so one would think.
It didn’t matter how complicated a case got, it was okay. It’s Broccoli Bites Day!
I could yell at them all I want, because it’s Broccoli Bites Day!
The IRS could audit all of them, and they wouldn’t care . . . it’s Broccoli Bites Day!
Basically, these things make any day the best day of your life. They might even cure cancer for all I know!
So I had to learn more about these broccoli bites of which they spoke.
They are apparently made with chopped up broccoli (whoa, I didn’t see that one coming!), cheese . . . .and . . . wait for it . . . BACON! And they are DEEP FRIED! What more could one ask for in a single mouth-watering treat?
(I suspect that one could eat just about anything if it were deep-fried, but there are some lunch bucket list items I STILL would not attempt even if they were deep-fried and I didn’t know what they were. I guess if I didn’t know what they were I might try them, but I’m thinking I’d probably pass on them until someone told me what was in them. If you lied to me, then I would have to hate you for the rest of your life. Please don’t do that. I really don’t need to eat sea snakes, so don’t deep fry them and lie to me. Why would anyone do that?)
So I tried one of these morsels-to-die-for. I have to be honest–and I think I hurt my staff’s feelings–but I was greatly underwhelmed. It was okay, don’t get me wrong. And I have been informed these are probably the best things to come out of the hospital cafeteria, which doesn’t say a whole lot about the rest of the menu in my humble opinion. But the experience was not life-changing for me.
There won’t be another broccoli bite day for three weeks.
It’s okay. I can wait.