Broccoli Bites

Believe it or not, this is not a rant against broccoli, although amongst vegetables, broccoli probably deserves to be made fun of, along with cauliflower, brussels sprouts and lima beans.

I am also not critiquing Albert R. Broccoli’s movie-making skills.

No instead, I am talking about little nuggets of delectable, near-orgasmic culinary masterpieces called Broccoli Bites.  Think Bagel Bites gone green.

Don’t be freaked out if you have never heard of them.  I suspect you won’t find them in your local grocery store in the frozen food section, or any other section for that matter.

Before today, I had never heard of these little gems.

But when my staff at the surgical center discovered that the hospital cafeteria was serving Broccoli Bites, they went ballistic.  I have not seen such celebration since the USA defeated Russia in hockey in 1980.  A rather run-of-the-mill Wednesday in the OR suddenly became a “broccoli bites day!”  And in case you are wondering, that’s the next best thing to Christmas, or so one would think.

It didn’t matter how complicated a case got, it was okay.  It’s Broccoli Bites Day!

I could yell at them all I want, because it’s Broccoli Bites Day!

The IRS could audit all of them, and they wouldn’t care . . . it’s Broccoli Bites Day!

Basically, these things make any day the best day of your life.  They might even cure cancer for all I know!

So I had to learn more about these broccoli bites of which they spoke.

They are apparently made with chopped up broccoli (whoa, I didn’t see that one coming!), cheese . . . .and . . . wait for it . . . BACON!  And they are DEEP FRIED!  What more could one ask for in a single mouth-watering treat?

Chicken Nuggets??? Guess again!

(I suspect that one could eat just about anything if it were deep-fried, but there are some lunch bucket list items I STILL would not attempt even if they were deep-fried and I didn’t know what they were.  I guess if I didn’t know what they were I might try them, but I’m thinking I’d probably pass on them until someone told me what was in them.  If you lied to me, then I would have to hate you for the rest of your life.  Please don’t do that.  I really don’t need to eat sea snakes, so don’t deep fry them and lie to me.  Why would anyone do that?)

So I tried one of these morsels-to-die-for.  I have to be honest–and I think I hurt my staff’s feelings–but I was greatly underwhelmed.  It was okay, don’t get me wrong.  And I have been informed these are probably the best things to come out of the hospital cafeteria, which doesn’t say a whole lot about the rest of the menu in my humble opinion. But the experience was not life-changing for me.

There won’t be another broccoli bite day for three weeks.

It’s okay.  I can wait.