As a follow-up to my last post (which obviously wasn’t my last post) about the world ending on May 21st, I bring your attention to the next sign of the impending apocalypse: Rapture Insurance. For Pets.
For $135, and $20 for each additional pet, you can be sure that your pet(s) will be cared for after you are whisked away in the Rapture.
. . . pet-loving atheists who have sufficient space to take the usual types of household pets, including birds and hamsters, into their homes to live out their lives. Adoption of large animals like horses and llamas is available in Montana, Idaho, New Hampshire and Vermont.
Alas, Eternal Earth-Bound Pet does not have an atheist representative in Pennsylvania. Sammy and Kurt will have to fend for themselves in the post-Rapture chaos. West Virginia is the nearest state with coverage, so we have trained them both to use the GPS and head for West Virginia in the event that we disappear. Unfortunately, pets have problems understanding “disappear”. They don’t grasp the concept of “rapture.” So everytime we leave the house, these two furry little idiots head off to West Virginia. We’re working on that, but My God, we are running out of time!
And just in case both Harold Camping AND the Mayans are wrong about the world ending soon, your insurance is good for 10 years. That’s like 70 in dog years! How can you put a price on peace of mind like this?!
I would have thought that leaving your pet in the care of an atheist might be a deterrent. I mean, they look so normal on the outside. But people are buying this stuff. Apparently, these atheists:
fully endorse the “Rule of Reciprocity”, also known as “The Golden Rule.” We just happen not to believe in God(s). …
Well, isn’t that special?
So when the Rapture occurs, and the world descends into chaos, and you suddenly realize that you were wrong, you still plan on welcoming 70 cats into your house to feed and care for until the Tribulation is over? Seriously? On the other hand, there are people that have too many cats now.
I really want to know how a guarantee works after I’m gone or the world ends? I guess you just have to trust the atheists.