A friend of mine was relating a story this week. She and her husband were on their way home Tuesday night after a party. It was dark (but not a dark and stormy night.) All of a sudden, he hit the brakes. She looked up from her Ipad just as he “hit a deer that when flying off to the side of the road.” She claims they even “heard glass breaking.”
Now, you may wonder why I put that in quotes. It’s because I can’t do air quotes in a blog.
The car was still drivable so they continued home–expecting the worst.
When they pulled into their driveway and got out, there was no visible damage to the car. There were no broken lights or mirrors to explain the broken glass sound they allegedly heard. She claims there was a “patch of fur” on the fender but nary a dent or scratch to indicate that a deer was launched off the roadway by impact. She further claimed that her husband took the car to a mechanic to check and make sure there was no damage under the vehicle–and everything checked out just fine.
This led those who were listening to conclude one of the following possibilities.
1. There was no deer. She made it all up. I hit a unicorn the other day with my jeep. There was some horn on the fender, but nothing else. See, we can do that too.
2. They hit a reindeer, flying low across the road. It veered away at the last second, and the glass breaking noise was actually jingle bells.
3. They hit a Christmas Ornament (those light-up deer you see grazing in yards amidst twinkle lights) that fell off someone’s truck. It would explain the glass, but you would expect some scratching of the vehicle.
4. They ate some psychedelic mushrooms by accident at the holiday party they were returning from. This is the explanation that the listening group eventually agreed upon. It had to be the ‘shrooms. Maybe they were drunken ‘shrooms as well.
5. There was a deer. It did get hit. There was miraculously no damage (the “immaculate impaction”) and right now there is a deer in the woods trying to convince his buddies that he did indeed get hit by a car and lived to brag about it.
“Dude, that’s just a bald spot. You didn’t get hit by a car. Quit pulling our deer legs!”
“I swear it’s true! See . . . they broke my glasses too!”